Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
