One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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