I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
