Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
