I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
