ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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