my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
