My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I can't turn off my feet"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
