He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize