omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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