that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
