I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
