he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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