Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
