just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
