Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
