I wish I only lived at night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
