I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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