I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
