..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
