the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
