I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
