I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
