Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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