Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
