Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think people are normalizing furries
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
