Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
