Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
