it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
