I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
