my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
