My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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