I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
