Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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