yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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