I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
