i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
