i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
