i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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