I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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