Your dad touched me again.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize