I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
