She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
