Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
