I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
