I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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