I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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