Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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