Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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