He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
