On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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