i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
