Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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