The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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