I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
