So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
